Gretchen's Random Thoughts

Being away from home during the holidays turns out to be kind of hard. Even though I miss my family a great deal, so far being away hasn’t been as difficult as I’d anticipated. When I went to Thailand and India three years ago, being away was much more difficult… but then again, I didn’t have Monte with me and my sister was giving birth for her first time. When I was away before, I found myself wishing I was back home – back home where I could be with the man that I love and to support my sister through the biggest event of her life.
Yesterday we went up to Chiang Mai and went to a western-style grocery store. It felt like we were walking into Haggen and everything seemed perfectly normal until I realized I was in Thailand and not the U.S. American Christmas music was being played, all the food I used to eat was in this store. You’d think that a place like this would make you miss home less, but it just made me miss it more. I had bent down to look at something when a woman walked by me smelling exactly like my Grandma Shirley and I found myself looking up to her, ready to hug her…until my rationality stepped in (thank God) and prevented me from hugging this stranger…who was Thai, really young, and just happened to use the same lotion as my Grandma…
Being in Thailand is really easy. There’s nothing difficult about it – besides being away from family. You don’t see any homeless people and the vast majority of people are incredibly happy. There’s less depression, less violence, less hate. There’s nothing that really shocks you. Life in the States is incredibly easy and everything is handed to me. This is partly because I’m white and middle class (well, not partly, fully…). In Thailand I’m finally a minority, I’m finally different, but the people are so nice and welcoming that I experience no discrimination (well, besides being over-charged). I’m not saying that I wish to be discriminated against, but being different here isn’t like being different back home. (Different, of course, meaning not white, heterosexual, or middle-class). In India and Cambodia, many things seemed “foreign,” even though I loved being in both of those countries. There’s nothing that seems “foreign” about Thailand. Sure, some of the food is different and they have some different customs but you get used to all of those things rather easily.
We’ve run into a lot of people who never wish to return home. Richard Lair has lived in Thailand for the last 33 years and has only gone home three times and has called home the same amount. Many Europeans that we met in Cambodia didn’t miss home at all, they just missed people. But I do miss home. I really like where we live. I love Bellingham, I like Lummi Island, I love visiting my parents and family in Idaho…I love the family and friends that we have. How fortunate. I have a place where I feel I belong. Before we left, I did feel like I needed to get out and see the world, and while I’m seeing the world, I’m realizing how much more I want to see, but I can go home and feel accomplished. I never want to stop traveling in my life. I want to be able to take our future kids to other countries because that’s such a great thing to be able to do…I don’t think I’ll ever get out of the travel-bug.
Even with all the political, social, and environmental flaws that the U.S. has, I really like our country. I don’t think of myself as patriotic, because to me, for some reason, I have the view that patriotism requires you to agree with the politics of one’s country (and I definitely don’t…). Is this really the case though? Can you be patriotic and yet be ashamed of your current president and congress (not of the president-elect, of course…or, not yet…we’ll see)? I find it odd that it took me leaving the country to see that there are good things about the U.S. I find it even odder that it’s still easier for me to think of our country’s flaws than its positive attributes.
These are just random thoughts. I love being in Thailand; it’s so much fun. Really, the only things that make me want to come home are our family and friends (well, and peanut butter – that’s a rare commodity outside of the U.S.). I’m quite content, happy, and incredibly grateful for the opportunities that Monte and I are being given.